The seven most dysfunctional things about my house

I talk a lot about how we’re creating our dream house and must sound so ungrateful moaning about it all the time. I mentioned a few months ago that we didn’t love the house but bought it because we think we can turn it into something that we adore.

Right now, it’s far from from perfect. In fact, some days it’s even far from like able!

I thought I’d share with you the seven things I dislike about my house the most (as there are definitely more than seven!

1. The ridiculous kitchen windows

As wonderful as our main (there are currently four!) kitchen window is, it’s about 60cm deep, with absolutely nothing underneath it. It’s such a horrific waste of space. Then we have this tiny little one to the left, which isn’t big enough to get a blind to fit it. So we’ve just put in a piece of translucent vinyl short term instead.

All of the above pales into insignificance when you compare it with the window at the opposite side of the kitchen…

Seriously, why? Why would you not just put a normal window in?

2. Our lighting arrangement

We have very low ceilings downstairs. The majority of the lights will, unfortunately, have to be down lighters. We’ve spent hours (and it’s not finalised yet) pouring over the lighting plan so that we can get as many pendant lights in as possible, strategically placed over tables and beds.

Whoever did the lighting before us clearly didn’t think like this. They were obviously a fan of random spot lights just attached to the beams:

Or crazy nonsensical pendants placed all over the ceiling, right in the middle of rooms. The one in the kitchen is a particular favourite of mine. One friend in particular walks into it every time he comes over.

3. This 70’s staircase

I think it’s just best to say that I hate it and it will be going as soon as is physically possible.

4. My breeze block bedroom wall

If you ever have a pregnant partner, let me give you some advice. If she asks you to put up some curtains to cover a window and make the room look a bit nicer, just do it. Especially if she’s in her third trimester and nesting  (to be fair you should actually just do anything she asks of you at that moment in time if that’s the case).

What you shouldn’t do is remove the window and brick it up. Especially if you’re not going to cover up the bed, bedding or floor first. She will not thank you for making a mess, especially when she’s nine months pregnant, and the size of a whale.

Lee still insists he was in the right with this one.

5. The ‘blah’ doors

When we viewed the house my mum came with us. She was really positive and told us that it would look ‘a million times better’ once we’d ‘replaced those doors’. She repeated this daily for months.

We found an absolute bargain on eBay and managed to get around 18 second hand (but immaculate) doors for just £80! We could have swapped them all straight away (and made my mum so happy!) but as we’re moving so many walls around we’ll be creating new door ways and we plan to make these to fit the doors we already have, instead of trying to butcher the doors to fit existing holes.

You might have noticed Ewan’s room is the only one that has a nice door. It’s our sign of a finished room – we swap the doors over!

6. The bathroom mirror/light combination

Wait for it….


Isn’t it beautiful?

7. The lady in my shower

Yes you read that right. There is a lady in my shower. As the house was renovated to sell the bathroom tiles were swapped for plain white ones. For some reason, they left the ones in the shower as they were. Including this lady.

We’ve called her Diane.

I’m learning to look passed all of these things and not notice them. They’re not permanent after all and we’ll be replacing them all at some point over the next few years.

Have you ever moved into a house and had to live with something you hated? Let me know in the comments below.